While some of my American friends and co-workers may scoff at soccer as being a “boring” or “not for them”, they almost all change their tune when it comes to league design.  These friends and co-workers may be criminally insane as well, but that is actually not the point here. (And, for the record, I said “may”.)

Who cares about league design? Well, I do.  So there!  But honestly, in most European soccer leagues, there are no conferences or divisions or playoffs (well standard playoffs as we know them.)  There is none of that crap.  There is one league.  There is one giant table of teams and every team plays with the goal of being number one.  Get a win? There are points for that.  Get a tie? You grab a point for that. The team with the most points at the end of the season wins the title. The simplicity is elegant and refreshing.  And don’t forget relegation.  Oh my, never underestimate the pain and agony of relegation.

What is relegation?

Well, it is a “motivator” to make sure all teams are performing to the best of their ability. Basically, if your team finishes in one of the bottom spots in the table, they are relegated to a lower league the next season.  Then, the top teams from the lower division replace them at the top flight.

To put it in American terms: based on 2011 Major League Baseball standings: Houston, Seattle, and Minnesota would be playing in AAA this upcoming season, and they would be replaced in MLB by the Pawtucket Red Sox, Durham Bulls, and Columbus Clippers.  Insane, right?  Not so much!

It is a crazy and downright frightening feeling to have your favorite team in the relegation “zone” fighting for survival.  And let me tell you, it adds a great deal of tension (and a bit of fun) to the proceedings throughout the end of the season.  You will see teams literally weep with joy for finishing out the season above the relegation zone.  And, on the flip side, you will see the despair of those who are being “sent down”.

To further add to the excitement, teams finishing near the top of the table get to play in special European cups the following season.  These are prestigious tournaments held across Europe with the top teams from leagues from England, Italy, Spain, Germany, and many more.  The revenue streams as well as the credibility that comes from playing in Europe can propel a team for years to come.  They suddenly become a viable destination for the top talent across the globe.

Other amazing aspects of overseas soccer are tournaments like England’s FA Cup.  This prestigious event traverses all of England’s leagues.  So the English Premier League and all of its “minor leagues” get to play.  You win and you keep going.  Normally, an established Premier League team wins this event, which goes on concurrent with the existing season.  But sometimes these lower division teams come out of nowhere and shock the world. In 1980 West Ham was out of the top flight and came through to win it all.  And as recently as 2008, we saw Cardiff City make it to the final only to succumb to Portsmouth (who, incidentally, was the only Premier League team to make the semi-finals!)

None-the-less, it is always a treat to see major teams like a Manchester United take the pitch at an away leg game against a smaller team, like Huddersfield Town in their old Leeds Road stadium.  It can be culture shock for both fans and players.  To use the baseball analogy again, it would be like the New York Yankees showing up in Niles, Ohio to play the single A Mahoning Valley Scrappers.  Their stadium seats a whopping 6,000 or so people. And, more importantly, the game would matter!  It would be worth something, not just an exhibition.  It would be televised internationally! How cool is that? I am sure it would be quite a treat for the fans and players of the minor league team.

Ultimately, the design of these leagues is far superior to those we see in the major U.S. sports.  There is always something to play for.  Be it the top of the table, a particular tournament, or even just avoid regulation.  Every match counts for something.  And we all know that is not something we can say for most of the sports in our country.

I am writing this in a post-match glow.

As you likely know, Barcelona just took on Leverkusen in Champions League. What you may also know is that Leverkusen was positively thrashed by Barca, 7-1. Furthermore, you may be aware that a diminutive forward for Barcelona named Lionel Messi took the game over and basically disrespected anyone who has ever tried to play soccer. Why, you ask? Well, he was that good. Any of us who have ever touched the pitch now look foolish for even trying. Messi showed us what football looks like. He reminded us what is so great about our sport, and why it has been dubbed “The Beautiful Game.” During the rout, Messi tucked in five goals. Many of them were of the “spectacular” variety. At one point during the second half I was quite sure I caught myself screaming like a little schoolgirl. This cannot be confirmed, however, and for that I am grateful.

(oh in case you have yet to witness… here be some highlights, or lowlights for you Leverkusen people, from our friends at FOX Soccer)

A quick check of twitter, facebook, and other sites among the web showed me that I was not alone in my accolades. Twitter was blowing up, and that was to be expected. But even mainstream sports sites in the United States were leading with Messi’s performance. This made me pleased. Honestly, we don’t that type of exposure on a mainstream level very often.

While Barcelona was wrapping up their destruction of Leverkusen, (10-2 on aggregate, daaaaaamn!), I couldn’t help but start thinking about other notable individual performances I have seen throughout the years.

• Romario personally lit up the Manchester United team when he was playing for Barcelona in 94. He made runs both with and without the ball that were downright mesmerizing.
• As a goalkeeper myself, I was particularly drawn to a match Peter Schmeichel played against Germany during the 92 Euro Final. He was flat-out clutch. Germany’s attack seemed incessant, and Schmeichel was brilliant in response. He singlehandedly delivered that championship to the Danes.
• Leverkusen was victim again in 2002 during the Champions League final. This time the culprit was none other than a pre-headbutt Zinedine Zidane. ZZ played sensationally in midfield the entire game before scoring the game winner on a cross from Roberto Carlos. That game winner often overshadows the masterful performance Zidane displayed in midfield. The volley was one of best goals ever scored in international competition.

Now, there are numerous great individual performances. Many more than just the few I have mentioned. These just happened to jump out at me. Feel free to sound off and let us know what you think. Will Messi’s performance be topped? Or is it not even at the top of the heap?

Well if you haven’t already watched it, you should see what all the fuss is about.  KONY 2012, I hope it works… and that he’s not the last guy that gets taken down.

Check out more info at www.KONY2012.com

Dear soccer fan, please forgive me.

This is my first soccer confession. We have been acquaintances for a little bit of time now and I have to be a bit more forthcoming with you. Personally, it is for the best. While some of this may hurt, I think it is imperative for you and I to be on common ground as this relationship progresses. So, grab an adult beverage (or not) and grit your teeth (or not) as what I am about to tell you may alter the course of our writer/reader relationship. In fact, it may make you lose any and all respect for me (that is, if there was any respect for me there to begin with. I understand that is quite a stretch.)

Here we go:

- For years there have been rumors circulating that I tried to name my first born “Beckham”. In many circles I denied this claim incredulously. It is time to come clean; I did lobby to name our first child after Becks. My wife, being incredibly awesome and having a sound mind, was able to see that doing so was not in our child’s best intentions. I relented. I felt shame. However, there are times when I look at my now 8-year-old son and think, “I don’t care what the others say, if your name was Beckham, that would be bad ass.”

Please forgive me. Are you okay? Can you continue? I hope so, as I must go on.

- Here is quite wicked googly. My wife and I traveled to London on our honeymoon and I never went to see a Premiership match. This confession alternately pains me greatly/gives me a smile. The pain side is obvious. Heck, our hotel was just blocks away from Stamford Bridge (which I didn’t even go see, I’m a horrible person.) It would have been great to see a game over there. It really would have. And we were overseas at such an exciting time in EPL history – Leeds and Chelsea were on the ascendency, Le Tissier was still mucking about and scored his 100th goal with Southampton, and guys like Beckham, Butt, and Giggs were continually trouncing others at the top of the table.

Why didn’t we go? Well, we were busy with other things. So, there’s that.

I’m not sure if you are okay.

You seem as if you are having some sort of a conniption. Let’s just try to finish up, no?

- I have been to exactly one MLS game, only one. Here I am, Mr. Superfan and I have only been to one MLS game? What gives, right? Well, wait. It gets better. The game I attended was in1997 – Kansas City Wiz vs. New England Revolution. Arrowhead Stadium seemed to be about ¼ full. People were unsure what to cheer about. The rules were weird. Honestly, they were still doing kick-ins instead of throw-ins and all that jazz. It was kind of a bad experience. Anyway, this was the second season of MLS. The league was still finding an identity. I only made the long drive from St. Louis to K.C. to see an idol of mine, Walter Zenga, between the pipes for the Revolution. Also, in an effort of full disclosure, Zenga did not even play that day. He rode the bench. It just added to the surreal feel of the event.

Now, that’s not to say I have not been an MLS supporter. Not the case at all, I just haven’t made it to another game. I truly intend to rectify this discrepancy during this upcoming MLS season. I owe it to my wife. I owe it to my kids. I owe it to you. I owe it to myself.

Well, that’s it. Those are my confessions. I trust that the eye-rolling/saliva drooling combo is a sign of forgiveness. Now, those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, right? You can’t tell me that you don’t have a soccer skeleton or two in that closet of yours, right?