We are fans of soccer. We, the collective soccer fan base, generally seem to enjoy a variety of things in addition to soccer. You will find members of our group who enjoy traveling, reading, and fine dining. You will find others among our midst that enjoy gaming, junk food, and diluted gin from the local grocery store. To each his own, right? (In an effort of full disclosure and brutal honesty, I have found myself enjoying all of those at one time or another. And, there is nothing wrong with any of those leisure activities, except for the grocery store gin. This, in hindsight, may be a cry for help. I’m just putting that out there.)

However, there seems to be at least one tie, other than soccer, that binds us all together: our proclivity to argue. Is there a fan base that bickers more than soccer fans? If so, I am yet to find it. Now, keep in mind, I’m not referring to the terrible riots and stampedes that we have seen recently and in years past. That is quite another level of horror and one that I hope we don’t find on our shores. I’m speaking just fan to fan. It seems that those of us in North America, perhaps because we have already been a bit persecuted just by being soccer fans, tend to jump down the throats of others who share a different soccer viewpoint.

For example, I recently got into a discussion with a new acquaintance at soccer sign-ups for my kids school league. It went something like this:

Acquaintance: “Hey, I saw you coach last year. You were wearing a Lampard jersey, right?”
Me: “Yes, that was likely me. I’m a big Chelsea fan. Who do you…“

Acquaintance: “Chelsea sucks. Lampard sucks. Manchester United is the best team in the world. Seriously, why would you even bother with that team?”
Me: “Well, I started supporting them in middle school after I read Glanville’s…”

Acquaintance (walking away and grabbing his kids): “Whatever. Chicharito is better than Torres or Drogba.”

Me: “Well, if recent form is the only thing we are going to look at, then I am inclined to agree with you, stranger. Your argument, while off-putting, is not without its merits. Where did he go? I’m talking to myself again, aren’t I? He left like a minute ago, didn’t he? Hey kids, did you see a guy over here talking to me?”

I am embellishing slightly, but the premise was the same. There seems to be, at least in my experience, real venom in many soccer dialogues with casual (and not so casual) fans in these parts. Maybe it is just the area I live in. Or maybe it is just my stupid, smug face. Is it the same for you?

That’s not to say all dialogue goes this way. I just had a nice give and take with a superior at work about Wayne Rooney’s recent work rate. (Wayne Rooney’s recent work rate, say that 5 times fast…) I am of the opinion that his work rate has suffered recently (again, just his work rate, not his play or results – settle down). I think, compared to his normal bull-dog approach, Rooney has been playing it slightly safer when away from the ball. My superior thought I was insane, and perhaps he is right. He made some valid points. We didn’t change each other’s point of view but we had some good dialogue. And at least he didn’t take his kids and run away after screaming his point of view. So, there might just be hope for us all.

We Live Soccer airs on FOX Soccer in the US and on GOLTV Canada and we bring you so many stories about so many different things throughout the season.  We are continually uploading those features to our PROFILES page so feel free to get your bad self over to the page to check out the who’s who and the what’s what and the where’s where in the North American game.  Did any of that make sense?  Short and sweet translation… go check out the profiles of cool things we shot.

I just uploaded a cool clip in which we met up with Bumpy Pitch.  We dig these guys as they make some ridiculously cool clothing.  Here’s the video with some instructions to follow for the rest of your day (but only if you are medically cleared to partake in).  Watch the video below.  Check out some more profiles. Go to BumpyPitch.com.  Buy yourself a shirt.  Go to the fridge.  Grab a drink.  Chill out.

How did you land the gig as Philly’s team photographer?

I shoot mostly college athletics in the Philadelphia area but have always been a big soccer fan; I was actually an inaugural season ticket holder for DC United in 1996 when the league started and I grew up in that area.   When I found out MLS was expanding to Philadelphia I was really excited and knew it was a job that would fit in nicely with my schedule.  I made some inquiries with some of the contacts I have developed over the years working around town, and found out that a colleague and friend of mine would be working for the team.    Aimee Cicero was hired as the teams Manager of Communications and I had worked with her for the previous 5 or 6 years while she was at Drexel and Temple Universities.  Once I knew Aimee was on the staff I knew I could make this happen and with her help I did!  Thanks Aimee!

Much of the MLS season runs through the summer when the majority of my clients (local universities) aren’t playing, so not only is it great work shooting a sport I love in a beautiful stadium, but it really fills during the collegiate offseason.

Coolest thing about the job?

I imagine most people will say the access, but after you shoot sports for a while you learn it’s not such a crazy thing, the athletes are people too, just better at sports than most of us are!   Being the Union’s Team Photographer, much like all the other places I shoot for the coolest thing is the people you meet and the relationships you make.

New ESPN Color Analyst Taylor Twellman was on the Union’s broadcast team this past season and it was really great listening to him talk before matches about the work he is doing with concussions.  The Union’s Goalkeeper’s Coach Rob Vartughian is a great guy and always comes over to ask how my family is before each game.  The Communications and Marketing staff are really wonderful to work with.   A lot of my best friends are people I work with on a regular basis for the organizations I shoot for, and I know I will say the same thing about the Union if I am lucky enough to shoot for them for a long time.

Now back to the access…that’s not too bad either, getting to be on the field when the Union walked out of the tunnel in front of a packed house against Everton, Manchester United and Real Madrid the last two years has been pretty cool!

Here is a shot of Jurgen Klinsmann celebrating after Robbie Rogers goal against Mexico, the first goal the team scored under his leadership. It was voted Sports Illustrated Snapshot “Photo of the Day” on the Google Chrome App when I took it.   If I wasn’t the Union’s team Photographer I would have never gotten the call to shoot this match from another client.

Who’s your favourite player to photograph?

Two guys come to mind here.  The Captain Danny Califf makes for fun photos with his sleeve tattoos and ever changing hairstyles.  He is really physical and always running opponents down with slide tackles and he gets into the box on set pieces and throws his body all over the place.  Second would be Roger Torres.  Although he comes on a lot of times as a sub, he always brings a lot of energy and the fans at PPL Park go nuts every time he touches the ball.  I think the fact he is 5-5 137lbs really gets people energized to see him.   Since he isn’t the biggest of guys he makes for some fun photos and good news is the Union just completed his transfer so he should be here for a while.  He’s only 20 years old!

On an average day, say your shooting game action, what’s your go to gear?

Normal game day set up is two cameras.  Nikon D3s body and Nikon D3.  In warm-ups I use my 400 mm f2.8 to shoot some close up face shots of some of the guys while they are near the sidelines.  On my other camera I usually have my 24-70 mm f2.8 to shoot fans or general stuff inside and outside the stadium.  Once the players go in from warm-ups  I take the 400mm off and put on a 70-200m f2.8 lens.  Sometimes I will use a flash for the Starting XI photo (PPL Park can be a tough place to shoot when the sun is going down.  The overhangs cast a huge shadow across some of the field while the stands in the background are still in full sun so it can be tricky sometimes but we make it work.  I usually leave my flash in manual at 1/16^th or 1/8^th power or so just to get a little kick of light on the players.   Once the game begins I am usually always two bodies, one with the 400mm the other with the 70-200mm for anything close along the sidelines.   The Auto-ISO feature the newer cameras offer has been beneficial at times when the field is half in shadow half in sunlight.  I shoot all action shots at f2.8. Occasionally I will use a 1.4x extender on the 400mm.  PPL Park is great because it offers a few places to shoot from where you can actually sit on the ground which I prefer to than kneeling behind the advertising boards.  The lower the angle you can get the bigger the action looks!

This year I have a few new ideas and will probably try setting up some more remote cameras.  I also always bring an assistant to the games with me as it is a big field and tough for one guy to cover.  You never know where the action might be and if you run around chasing it all game you might never catch it!  I have my assistant shoot with a 300mm f2.8 at the opposite end of the field and he did a great job catching some key moments for me last year.

For all you gear heads, my new Nikon D4 should be here within the next few weeks, I’m really excited for that!

I know you shoot a lot of other sports.  What’s the most difficult one to shoot?

Obviously each sport presents its different challenges.  I shoot a ton of college basketball, about 85 games a year, so that is certainly what I have the most practice at.  Indoor events are typically more difficult because you are thrust into some dark places which don’t allow high shutter speeds and might have horrible fluorescent lighting.  The new cameras have made this much easier though over the last 5 years.  I routinely shoot over 5000 ISO which was unthinkable before I got my D3.  Thank you Nikon…

Most difficult…how about volleyball?  I don’t shoot it often enough to get good at it and if you can’t anticipate where the ball is going, good luck trying to find it!

How competitive is it on the sidelines with other photographers?  Do you have to stake out your territory… is it all friendly?

Like I said before, it’s a huge field, and usually there are only 10-15 of us at a regular season league match.  There are certainly spots I prefer to shoot from, mainly the corners where I can sit as low as possible, but if someone else is there I don’t get too bent out of shape and move on to the next spot.  Sometimes being forced to move somewhere else can allow you to make a great image you would have otherwise never gotten and sometimes you wish you had been in your regular spot!

For some of the international matches it has been a little more crowded, but not too bad.   Real Madrid was a little crazy, and USA vs. Mexico also at Lincoln Financial Stadium was packed with photographers.  Obviously, a big rivalry and it was new USA Head Coach Jurgen Klinsmann’s first game at the helm.

How do you think the Union are going to do in 2012?

The jump the franchise made from season one to season two last year certainly exceeded all expectations.  Everyone is saying how young they are, but they have a really solid backline, and their attackers all have a very high ceiling.  Zac MacMath is a young goalkeeper and a lot will fall on his shoulders, but I think we saw enough last season to know he is capable of handling the number one GK spot.   Season three of any new coaching staff or organization is really where you can see things start to take shape and I think that will be true for this group.  I think Carlos Valdes is an awesome player who everyone in the league will be talking about this season.  Peter Nowak is a fiery guy and I wouldn’t bet against him with all the previous success he has had in his career, and if I did I certainly wouldn’t tell him!  Go Union in 2012!  DOOP!

What else do people need to know about Greg Carroccio and Sideline Photos?

Between being self-employed and my kids there isn’t a whole lot of time for hobbies these days.  Photography and playing sports have always been my two favorite things to do and I have fortunately been able to combine the two and create a job that I really enjoy.   I still play basketball regularly with a group of friends and golf as much as I can when the weather is nice.   Aside from that though I’m trying my best these days to grow my business by adding photographers and new clients, it’s a process but it’s moving in the right direction.  Thanks for having me!

Check out more of Greg’s awesome work and do the old follow thing on the twitter and book of face…
www.sidephotos.com
www.facebook.com/sidelinephotos
Twitter: @sidelinephotos

So this is pretty cool.  We got in touch with Canadian Women’s National Team Member Stephanie Labbe and asked if she would contribute to the blog and without hesitation she said “Definitely!”  We didn’t really give her any great direction on what to write about.  Lame on our part… yes.  But Stephanie was fine with it and decided to give us the low down on packing up the North American lifestyle and heading back to Europe to play professional soccer.  It’s a new start for Stephanie with a new city and team in Örebro, Sweden.

Within my first week back here in Sweden, in a new city with a new team I have been asked the pretty standard questions from back home.  “How do you like your team? How do you like your apartment? Is the city nice?” Some friends who are a little more soccer oriented ask , “How do you like your coach?” and “How is training?”  Right now, I am going to give the full answers to what my life has been like in the past week in this new city!

The airport in Örebro is pretty small, so its much easier to fly into Stockholm and bus to Örebro.  So I did just that!  Only issue was that I had 3 big bags plus a small rolly carry-on.  I’m not sure if you know, but I’m not overly gifted in the sense that I only have 2 arms like the majority of people on this planet.  I managed to get them all onto an airport cart to get myself onto the first bus.  Had to transfer buses half way, and it was a little stressful until I got off and realized the next bus stop was right behind the one I got off.  Some guy said “I think you packed too much” then walked away…it might just be me but I think the nice thing to do would have been help? Never the less I managed to drag 2 at a time 10 meters at a time to the next bus.  Another bonus, free wifi on the bus.  They know how to do it here in Sweden!  My first few days I spent with a teammate, who I had never met but knew from playing against her with the National Team.  I had my own room in her apartment and she was very welcoming and helpful.  She showed me the ropes, gave me a tour of the field/locker-room/gym/coaches offices etc and had a full fridge of groceries waiting for me.  What more could I have asked for!  I knew after 5 minutes of meeting my coach that it was going to be a great year.  He has so much knowledge for the game, has coached the men at some of the highest levels and was very genuine and honest.  The trainings have been at such a high level, with good tempo and control.  I already feel the demands, and its a great feeling to have.

It took a few days before I ventured into the city center which has all the shops, cafe’s and grocery stores.  Its a beautiful city with lots happening.  There is even a castle here!  Örebro was recently awarded the top sports city in Sweden because of all the different sports teams in the highest divisions.  I can already for see a future of a lot of sports watching!  I have got to know the girls on the team, and they have been so nice and welcoming to me.  Lucky for me I can understand most Swedish now, so it makes it a little easier to get to know them right off the bat.

After a busy few days, I was ready to unpack my bags and get settled into my apartment.  As soon as it was available for move-in I was picked up and transported over with all my luggage.  Its a small apartment with one room.  And by one room I mean there is a bathroom, a kitchen, and then one room for my bed/tv etc.  Its very cozy and its all I need.  And for me, it means less cleaning which I am always a fan of!  Now that I feel settled in, and I have decorated a little with some IKEA goodies, I feel ready to set out and explore a little more!  Step one is to find my way from my new apartment to the grocery store…good thing for google maps!
-Stephanie Labbe
@stephlabbe1

How did you land the gig as Toronto FC team photographer?

I was asked to shoot all the original advertising for the initial team launch and introduction. We didn’t really have a roadmap back then and sort of made pictures on the fly to get people excited. There were no players signed yet so we shot some fans in studio getting excited for TFC. The marketing people liked the shots and they asked me to come on board as the team photographer. Next thing I knew, I was flying down to South Carolina with Maurice Edu to shoot the training camp.

Coolest thing about the job?

Watching and being part of EVERY TFC home game. I may be the only person to attend all the matches so far.
I also love seeing my images used around town and in the media. It provides me with inspiration to get great images.

Are the guys on the team easy to work with?

I can honestly say that all the guys have been courteous and professional and they all understand that the pictures are all part of the package to promote and grow the team brand and get people excited about TFC.

My favourite shot is the Dwayne De Rosario portrait. I love the set-up, the lighting, the post work… what’s your favourite?

I am pretty critical of my work like a typical photographer so I am always revising my favourites but I really liked how a recent composition turned out. I also have a soft spot for one of the first fan images I have ever shot when the south section is going crazy. This was taken on only the 2nd home match ever and it helped people to realize just how fanatical the supporters are.

On an average day, what’s your go to gear when you shoot?

Shooting sports is pretty equipment specific and I usually carry 2 to 3 Canon camera bodies all equipped with a 400mm 2.8 for on field action, a 70-200mm 2.8 for closer action and looser shots and a wide angle 17-40mm for fan images and post game field shots. It is all natural light which at time can be pretty unpredictable. Also, rain gear on hand is a must just in case!

Not that your going to show any kind of team bias of course… how do you think Toronto FC are going to do in 2012?

Playoffs!! I love Aron Winters and the whole team direction starting from the ground up with the new academy initiative and right onto the first team. There is a winning attitude around BMO.

What else do people need to know about Paul Giamou?

I am always shooting and have been lucky enough the last few years to be able to travel the world for assignments and large productions. I have seen and done a lot of things that would only be accessible through photography. I love me job and that is why I always try to get the best for my clients.

To check out more of Paul’s awesome work go to www.paulgiamou.com

I really don’t like the term “insider,” but when trying to describe someone who works on the inside, in the action, in the game, in the thick of it… well, insider just fits.

Opinion aside, what I’m trying to say is that every once in awhile, we are going to present a blog posting from someone who comes to us straight from the inner workings of the beautiful game… a “soccer insider” if you will.

Our goal is to get a variety of inside voices to guest post here, and do it on a regular basis.  We really want to leave the platform open for them to write about what they think is interesting.  Hopefully we get some cool insight from the people that play or work in the game.  Most importantly, we hope that it’s something that will interest you!

We are going to start the series off on Monday with Stephanie Labb.  Steph just signed with Örebro in the women’s professional league in Sweden.  She’s going to give us a cool little look into what it’s like for a pro athlete to pack up and hit the ground running with a new team, in a country half way around the globe from her home.  It’s pretty cool to hear it from an athlete in their own words.

Like I said, hopefully this is a series that you guys dig and pass around the web… like an infection?  I’ll go grab a thesaurus, but I think you get what I’m sayin’…

Where have all of the bad asses gone? 

I’m being serious. I’m not saying soccer is without any tough players – not the case at all.  Actually, it can be argued that soccer players are even more bad ass than ever right about now.  Fitness, equipment, and the quality of the game continue to improve all of the time, forcing players to reach new levels in all aspects of the game.

What I’m asking is where are those larger-than-life bad asses?  I miss the Vinnie Jones’ of the world.

While I was growing up, Vinnie Jones was the cat.  Seriously, if the opponents weren’t crapping themselves at the possibility of playing against him, then they had ice in their veins.  He was (and still is) brash, outrageous, and could usually back it up on the pitch.  If he couldn’t back it up, he would at least grab your testicles and remind you of his presence, just ask Gazza.

I think we need more Vinnie Jones/Dunga type guys.

Dunga was a master of intimidation.  Brazil has always had a “soft” reputation.  Their teams play with unparalleled skill and beautiful fluidity.  Traditionally they didn’t have “hard asses”.  Dunga changed that.  Hell, he didn’t even have to do anything.  That buzz cut and scowl said it all.  The fact that he was a damn good defender was just icing on the cake.  Even now, closing in on 50, Dunga still looks like he could play the lead villain in any “Die Hard” film.  Seriously.

Then there is the enigmatic Eric Cantona.  That crazy Frenchman is still considered by many to be the best player to ever don the Manchester United jersey.  That’s a bold statement.  But “The King” brought a physical presence coupled with unbelievable skill and unparalleled confidence to the pitch.  Everyone knew where he was on the field, and every one knew not to mess with him. He was always on the verge of something amazing (or bat poop insane.)  Ultimately, it is not every day that you see a star player run and successfully land a flying ninja kick on a taunting supporter.

_

Flying drop kicks aside…

Today we are challenged to find those types of personalities.  Don’t get me wrong, we are in a hay day of excellent, physical players.  Ferdinand, Terry, Vidic, Pique, Lahm, and more are all world class and then some.  However, with the exception of maybe Ferdinand in his ill-advised corn row phase, none of these guys strike fear in to the hearts (and genitals) like a Jones, a Cantona, or a Dunga.

Just sayin’.

Now, I’m not the final word here.  Drop us a comment and have your say.  Any up and coming tough guys we should be watching?

Finally, on a sad (and serious) note, American soccer lost an icon this past week.  Harry Keough passed away at the age of 84. You might know Harry as the gentleman who scored the famous goal in the 1950 World Cup game that saw the Americans beat the heavily favored England team.  I can tell you, Harry and his family are all household names in the St. Louis area.  They have done so much to grow and promote the game. It is a shame to see him pass on.  So, wherever you are this week, toss one back for Harry.

How did you land the gig as FC Dallas’ team photographer?

I was in the right place at the right time and had made the right connections. Prior to the 1994 World Cup, I was working with the Dallas International Sports commission when it was announced that there would be a MLS team in Dallas. I photographed all their board meetings with FIFA and made my connections into the soccer community.

I didn’t get the initial job as team photographer with the Dallas Burn but ended up with the job following the first game. I’ve been the team photographer to date except for two years after the team became the current FC Dallas. There was a personnel change and with that change came a new photographer. Another personnel change happened, and I was back. For the two years that I was not the official photographer, I was hired by a Guatemalan newspaper to photograph all the FC Dallas matches. My job was to photograph one player, Carlos Ruiz. So, I have photographed a majority of the Dallas Burn/FC Dallas games from inception.

Coolest thing about the job?

Going to the games and getting paid for it!

Who’s your favourite player to photograph and why?

Brek Shea! You follow Brek and you’ll come away with great images.

Who’s easier to work with… the guys or the team dancers?

It depends on what kind of shoot is going on. They are both easy to work with, but the guys do have a tendency to cut up during shoots.  That actually makes it more fun, but it can take a little more time, which is no big deal. That’s where you really get to know them on a personal level. The dancers on that level are true professionals. They are the easiest by far because they are used to being photographed. They can give you what you need in a few minutes.

What’s your favourite FC Dallas photo you’ve taken and why?

I don’t have a favorite photo that I can think, but I have some that I like for different reasons. I really don’t prefer looking at my work.

I enjoy shooting and checking the images in camera just to see what I didn’t see, plus to make sure I got what the client is looking for. I may shoot 1200 to 2000 images in a match. In a matter of an hour or less, you have to narrow that down to 25 to 55 of the best images. In a perfect world, I would shoot and have an editor that knows the sport do the editing. I could care less about looking at my shots after a shoot but I have to.

I like going back a month or so later to see what I captured. To me that is exciting; it is like reliving the match again. When shooting the event, you see so much, and it’s the one I see that I remember wishing it was in the camera. If you see it, you didn’t capture it.

On an average day, say your shooting game action, what’s your go to gear?

I use flash for candids, close up crowd, fan and marketing type photos. I never use flash for any game action on the field. Go to gear for a match – Three camera bodies with one flash, Lens – 16-35mm, 70-200mm and a 400mm

Not that your going to show any kind of team bias of course… how do you think FC Dallas are going to do in 2012?

All the way to the MLS CUP! This is our year.

What else do people need to know about Rick Yeatts?

I remember that my first camera at the age of ten was a plastic camera that shot 120 film. I still have some of the negatives today. I used that camera till I was about fifteen. After that it was a succession of the latest Kodak cameras they sold at a corner Drug Store.

I joined the Marines after high school and naturally I got mixed reactions since we were still in Vietnam. After bootcamp, I was a marksman instructor before going to Military Police School. I signed up to go to the Japan mainland and they sent me to Okinawa. After arriving in Okinawa, I took seven hundred dollars to a camera store, bought a camera case and filled it up with several lenses, 35mm camera body and a flash. At that time, all my photography was travel-type photography.

After the Marines, I ended up going to barber/ beauty school and worked in the top salons in Dallas. I traveled and taught at different hair shows throughout the country. During that time, I worked with one of the top fashion photographers in the country as a stylist and picked up the photography bug again. I went out and bought the latest Nikon camera body, which was a F4 and a couple of lenses, and I started photographing my models on my own and that was when I started considering a career change.

I started shooting minor league hockey for fun and ended up being the team photographer for the Dallas Freeze for four years, while still hairdressing. I kept up shooting fashion, which eventually led to an Avant Garde style, which was way more fun but not much of a market in Dallas at the time. I also shot for different hair salons, doing publicity hair photos.

The hockey led to shooting professional ice skating. That led to the Dallas International Sports Commission, which lead to Fox Sports. I shot the championship matches at the Dallas Cup for a few years, which was my only knowledge of soccer. I met their media manager who ended up working for the Texas Women’s University Athletic Department in Denton, TX. I was hired to shoot all of TWU sports, which lead to working with the Athletic Department at the University of North Texas. I’ve been with them since 1997 and that’s the same time I started with the Dallas Burn. The rest is history. I’m still with North Texas and FC Dallas.

To check out more of Rick’s great work go to www.rjy.com

As mentioned in this space before, I really dig on soccer. Along with many Americans, I also dig highly caloric food. There is a corolation, my friends – and I am going to show you what that is…

I was watching Barcelona v. Real Madrid last week with a couple of pals (We all know that’s not true.  I was by myself.  That was painful to write, but cathartic none-the-less.) One of the announcers said something that sounded like “fried chips.”  In actuality, he likely said nothing of the sort but the combination of him mutilating a name and my level of hunger made it feel that way.  It made me think, what if some of the better known teams had junk food counterparts?  Well, if they did, here is my take on them:

A.C. Milan – Cheez Its. Listen, these 2 are both completely adequate. However, unless you are some whackjob superfan, you don’t crave these all the time. They have some delightful moments, mind you, like when the Tabasco flavored Cheez Its came out.  Those things were dynamite for a while, but for the most part, they are just relatively consistent.  They’ll take care of you, but I wouldn’t want to wear them as a badge or anything.

Chelsea – In an effort to offer full disclosure, the boys from Stamford Bridge are my favorite.  So much so that my wife and I even honeymooned near that stadium a number of years back.  That being said, their junk food equivilent is Lil’ Smokies.  Entirely awesome and filling, but you know that they are bad for you and could be killing you prematurely. I fear that Abramovich will up and fail me, much like my heart after too many Lil’ Smokies.

Manchester United – Funyuns.  Here’s the deal – these damn snackies are delicious.  They really are.  However, you have to be part of the cult who really appreciates them.  If you are one who ardently dislikes Funyuns it wouldn’t matter if the Funyuns would suddenly make you wealthy and irresistible to everyone you’ve ever wanted to date, you would still hate them with a passion because it is in your blood.  The inverse is true.  If you love Funyuns, you will fight for them regardless of how their parent company manufactures them. Now, it is possible to hate Funyuns while still respecting their place in the pantheon of all great junk food. The same can be said for Man. U.

Arsenal – The lads from Highbury are the snack equivalent of Cheetos.  They are good, no doubt about it. But if you take in too much you are suddenly hit with a nausea that can only be described as debilitating. This nausea was never more commonplace then it was in the late 70’s and early 80’s.  Those poor bastards. Things have gotten better (obviously) for the North Londoners in the past 15 years or so.  The same can be said of Cheetos.  Maybe we should say that Arsenal are the relatively new Cheddar Jalapeno Cheetos.  Have you tried those sons of bitches?  They are insanely delicious.  Same rule of sudden nausea from overindulgence though, for both the team and the delicious snack food.

Real Madrid – This team, chock full of stars like many of the ones previously listed, has a snack food equivalent of pizza.  Why pizza? Well its simple, we all seem to overlook Real Madrid lately due to their inability to match up with Barca when it matters.  However, if we were to sit down and really dig into RM, we would know that this is a damn good team/snack food.  You know that old adage about pizza – even when its bad it is still good.  Tell me that doesn’t apply to Madrid?

Barcelona – Well, if Real Madrid was pizza, what is Barca?  What could be out there that is better then pizza?  Well, Totino’s Pizza Rolls, that’s what.  These little nuggets of awesome are the very epitome of what is right in our world.  I have a theory.  That theory  is “Pizza Rolls > All”. I’m waiting for scientific proof that this theory is indeed fact.  Anyway, that is how this shakes out. Barcelona = Pizza Rolls.

You are free to disagree with me.  Hell, I welcome it.  You are also free to remind me that I have way too much time on my hand and that my chubby ass should find a treadmill.

Do you shoot moving pictures? Flicker shows? Talkies? You know… movies?  Well if you’re into film and soccer then the Kicking and Screening Film Festival is pretty much right up your alley.

Right now they are accepting submissions for the 2012 festival, so if you’ve created that soccer masterpiece, get on it and get your submission in there!

We caught up with Greg Lalas and Rachel Markus at the festival last year whilst we were hanging out in NYC.   Check what they had to say in the conveniently placed video below…

Go submit your film now Spielberg!